Foster Further

Today I renewed the Sensory Path I implemented last winter for Jane. It'd gotten neglected over the summer when I could just send her out to the trampoline and to play in the backyard to meet her physical needs.  Today I redid all the station prompts (pages with clip art images on them so she can remember what to do without reading). I eliminated some things that were no longer available and added a few new ones. There are five pages of prompts--each a different kind of movement--placed in 3 different rooms.  Why did I do this today? Because she came to talk to me, and stood there talking to me for a good five minutes, with something in her mouth. I finally asked her what it was and only then did she become aware and then, ashamed. It was a toenail. She was sucking on her toenail that she'd just chewed off her foot.  I can't even begin to explain how gross this girl is sometimes. It's like she reverts to an animalistic state when unsupervised for too long. Lately she...

Jane is stuck in the tongue-thrust stage of development. It took me over a year but I finally figured it out. You know that stage in an infant's development when you first start feeding them solid foods? They're about 4 months old and so tiny you have to strap them in tight in the high chair so they don't flop over and bang their head on the tray. You've just bought new baby feeding spoons and someone has a camera ready as you open the baby food jar. You make faces at your baby and they are delighted and laugh their toothless grin back at you. Right when their mouth is open you slip that first spoonful in and immediately, reflexively, they thrust it right back out with an emphatic tongue thrust as their expression turns from confusion to horror. We capture the moment on camera and put it into their baby books and laugh about it later. That reflexive tongue thrust pushing the food back out of the mouth is so cute at 4 months old. It's positively gross at 4 years old....

Jane has lived here for 19 months. Just over a year and a half. She came at 3 yrs, 2 months. She is now 4 years 10 months. Soon she will celebrate her second birthday since coming here. I've bought all the clothes and shoes and coats and toys she owns. I decorated her bedroom. I choose what she eats and when. I give her baths and wash her hair and sometimes assist her in the bathroom. I can tell you the exact shape of her toes and how their shape differs from mine. I can predict how she'll react to most situations. She doesn't like ketchup or baked beans. When she is most anxious she needs the super bright night light. I know she's in a good place when she asks for the smaller night light. She picks on the cat when she's mad at me. Jane and I have spent enough time together and know enough about each other (I bet she knows all the same details about my likes and dislikes) to be bonded by now. But I don't think we are. And I don't know that we will ever be. T...

These two disorders together look like a girl wearing pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a winter coat with the hood up, standing outside in the sun in 80 degree heat. This is what I saw yesterday while outside watering my garden. It's about 11am and I'm in shorts and a tank top and a huge sun hat, sweating away under the hot sun, wishing I could be in the shade. I look up and here comes Jane dressed for winter. This is at least the fifth time this summer she's come outside dressed like this. Why? Because she can't find her sun hat. I have an inviolate rule that the children must wear sandals and a sun hat when playing outside. No more splinters and sun burns since the rule went into effect!! Once Kate, age 3, couldn't find her sun hat so she scrounged around among the winter things and found a knit cap and was running around in that. I explained the purpose of the sun hat and Kate now wears the right hat every time. Jane is a year and a half older than Kate but she c...

...an organized mind. Planning, finding patterns, predicting outcomes, maintaining focus long enough to follow through creatively--I am suddenly seeing mental skills I've never observed in Jane before. This week Jane began lining up her dolls when playing with them. She played school with them for the very first time in her life, ever.  In the sandbox area Jane has begun putting on tea parties. Each container (all identically holding mud, but some decorated with leaves while others have stones or twigs) is a different food. There are even condiments such as salt and paper and sprinkles. She does an elaborate explanation for me while inviting me to sit down and partake. It's so earnest and intentional and creative and REAL to her. She's enthralled. She began writing "storybooks" which consist of multiple pages with pictures and scribbled lines that she tells me are the words of her story. She tells me what she plans to write before she makes a book. Her stories hav...

This morning was the last day of a full week at home with sick kids. Everyone is feeling just well enough to be bored but not snot-free and fatigue-free enough to go to town. Yesterday we killed time making Valentines (the kids swirled glue and glitter and stickers all over construction paper hearts--Pinterest-worthy we are not but they were happy nonetheless). Today I decided to do a mini spa day with the girls. After breakfast I got them dressed and took a picture that was a re-posing of a similar picture I took about a year ago. I showed them last year's picture and then did their hair the same--great fun getting ready for it. We were back in their room getting ready to paint nails when suddenly I realized that their bedroom window was open. I can't even describe the horror that rolled through my body when I saw the window open about 3 inches from the bottom. It was like watching your kid just barely miss getting hit by a car. Their bedroom is on the second floor. Th...

Dinner tonight encapsulated all my issues with Jane (and hers with me, too, now that I think of it). Theo was at Vespers, the boys had had a late lunch, it was only 5:00 but Kate was acting slightly ill and I knew both girls hadn't slept well the night before. I decided to feed them dinner, give them a bath, and then send them to bed early. Kate is playing but Jane is in the kitchen with me, spinning on an office chair (I know when she needs to spin she's been under-stimulated and is compensating). I pull some homemade chicken broth out of the fridge that I made last week, throw in some rice, chop up a carrot, add garlic and oregano and start to simmer the soup. I want Kate to get some good nourishment so she can fight off whatever is starting before Christmas. As it's cooking I ask Jane if she wants to have some of this soup or if she wants some of the Shepherd's Pie I made last night (which is what everyone else will be eating again tonight). I absolutely do not...

The facts: due to Thanksgiving chaos, in the past three weeks Jane has faced a slew of obstacles. 1) We revisited birth family in a home she used to go to often for the first time in a year--lots of memories triggered by being in that space again. 2) We traveled out of state and were gone from home for 4 nights--a major disruption to her sleep and sense of security. 3) Something like 30+ people we rarely see were a part of those visits--this highly social girl is exhausted. 4) Due to the travel we missed two dance classes and two O.T. sessions--big factors in her physical well-being. 5) She's 4 years old and only one year into a safe environment and really, only a few months into feeling calm and safe every day. So, looking at it like that, of course I should expect negative consequences, right? Honestly, looking at those factors it's been much smoother than it could've been. I see that she's more hyper, less able to focus on toys, more prone to pestering the ...