Foster Further

Both Jane and Kate began peeing their pants 2-3 times a day this week. So I put on my detective hat and try to figure out why. a) Both girls have done this in the past and have seen their pediatrician repeatedly and had tests done to check for UTIs. All tests and exams come back negative. The doc recommended I give them a cranberry supplement during flare ups just to be sure...which I do. The girls now get a supplement once a day along with their regular vitamin every day. b) We saw Grandma Jackie last week. Causal relationship? c) If one girl does it and gets attention--even though it's negative attention--does the other girl then do it in order to get attention also? d) No cause. They're just doing weird things cuz little kids go through stages and do weird things. I began issuing a consequence last week and have applied it without exception every time either one pees, or just for fun, also poops, her pants. Instead of doing it every day both girls have lessened their inciden...

Both girls have been talking lots lately about how old they are, who is bigger, what age they will be next, what their names are now and are going to be, etc. I feel like we're close enough to the finalization of the adoption that it's safe to answer with definitives. Interestingly, Jane had this whole conversation with me where she asked what her name was when she was born and what it'll be when she's a grown up. Like she wondered if maybe it changed every few years. She was kind of worried throughout our conversation--wondering if she was losing her identity? She felt reassured when I told her that her first name had always been the same and always would be. I'm very glad we didn't change their first names for just this reason. Then, tonight, Kate had an interesting conversation with me. At only 2 years, 9 months she can't have very in depth conversations but I know she's got bigger thoughts than her vocabulary is able to express. She's a very ...

We are approaching the end of the hardest year our family has endured since, well, it's very first one. (In our first year of marriage Theo and I coped with the death of his mother a week before our wedding; an unplanned, high-risk pregnancy; two moves; and struggling to live on one salary that didn't cover both rent and groceries. Besides being newly married and having no clue how to actually live together. Really nothing we'll ever face will be harder than that year. Honestly.) But, back to present day. Things are winding down. 1) The house painters are gone. Eight days of "final touch-ups that will just take a few hours". Eight days of watching them patch a spot sloppily with putty so the putty got on the green trim. Then repainting the green trim to cover the putty. Then repainting the yellow house paint where they slopped the green trim paint. True story. Now multiply by every inch of a two-story house with a porch, chimney, and 19 windows and three ext...

We're two weeks into the Keep-Your-Panties-Dry Incentive and New Bedtime Routine. Exciting times around our house. Kate completely regressed about a month ago to wetting herself all day long. Could hardly go three hours. Doc recommended medicines and OTC remedies didn't work. It was becoming an area of anxiety for her. I think she actually began peeing herself out of fear when she thought she might've peed herself but hadn't yet...bizarro situations she couldn't unravel at 2.5. So, back to diapers full time but with these caveats: a) I ask her every morning if she wants diapers or underwear and honor her choice (she's relieved to be able to choose diapers but once did choose underwear). b) I prompt her to use the potty regularly. She pees in it about four times a day but still has a soaked diaper inbetween. She always poops in the potty, thank god. On the day that I told Kate she could go back to diapers Jane was standing there and I watched this animali...

Our house is getting painted so the kids can't play outside due to the ladders. Yesterday we went to the zoo and today we went to a local pool and splash pad. (And now there's the extra challenge of keeping them just busy enough that they're content to rest when home but not so busy that Jane gets overly tired because now I know that can bring on a yet-to-be-officially-diagnosed neurological episode.) So I know Jane can develop tummy issues when she's stressed but she seemed to be okay after we returned from our mini-vacation last week. I guess not. Today at the pool she pooped herself. It's been months since she's done that. I chalk it up to constipation plus swimming? Who needs prunes when you've got a giant bath of warm salt-system water? Whatever works. Luckily I'd packed extra clothes, even including an extra swimsuit, so I helped her get cleaned up and changed and we resumed play, but not before she and I had a talk about her being too old (t...

Kate hit the big TWO and decided to test all the boundaries and reassert her will. Which means she says NO to everything including peeing in the potty. She went from reliably dry all day to wetting herself every 1-2 hours. So, today was recalibration day. I put the potty chairs in the kitchen, dressed she and James (who is a year older but behind her in every way, per the usual for my boys who hit all milestones on the late end of the curve) in only shirts, gave them water bottles, and planned a full day of kitchen cleaning. Last night, laying in bed planning today I got myself all excited about spring cleaning and wondered if I could even get caught up on laundry, too. This was gonna be great! Do you know what I did? I did dishes, made lunch, and emptied the veggie drawers in the fridge. That's it. In short, 4 hours in the kitchen this morning covered just my usual kitchen chores. Sure, I was interrupted every five minutes by a kid thing because I had two underfoot. But st...

When my husband was in college there was a weird guy on the floor who would sit in the common room and stare at people. He wasn't reading a book or doing homework, or even pretending to, he just sat there and watched other people's social lives with a full-on, unblinking stare. It was creepy. But then he was a sociology major so maybe it was all a big experiment. They nicknamed him "The Stairmaster" as in, stare-master. There is something positively annoying about being stared at.  And there is something deeply frustrating about not being able to explain why it's annoying to a young child. It feels ridiculously petty to say, "Stop looking at me!" I am, for at least the fourth time, relaunching a potty training effort for James. At 3.5 he is way past due. He's dry for long periods of time and obviously able to physically control his body...but until now he's lacked the vocabulary and comprehension skills to understand what was required. All ...