We're two weeks into the Keep-Your-Panties-Dry Incentive and New Bedtime Routine. Exciting times around our house.
Kate completely regressed about a month ago to wetting herself all day long. Could hardly go three hours. Doc recommended medicines and OTC remedies didn't work. It was becoming an area of anxiety for her. I think she actually began peeing herself out of fear when she thought she might've peed herself but hadn't yet...bizarro situations she couldn't unravel at 2.5.
So, back to diapers full time but with these caveats:
a) I ask her every morning if she wants diapers or underwear and honor her choice (she's relieved to be able to choose diapers but once did choose underwear).
b) I prompt her to use the potty regularly. She pees in it about four times a day but still has a soaked diaper inbetween. She always poops in the potty, thank god.
On the day that I told Kate she could go back to diapers Jane was standing there and I watched this animalistic-level jealousy play out across her face. She was furious that Kate was getting this kind of mommy-baby attention. Set off all her triggers.
I thought about it all day. I was positive she would begin peeing herself again just for the attention.
(The last time Kate was on antibiotics for suspected UTI--yes, I've pursued that endlessly with no results--it tasted horrid and Kate needed tons of coaching and special treats to get it down. Jane was so insanely furious at this special treatment that she tried to tell me she was sick and needed the medicine, too. So, the girl would actually volunteer to eat something so revolting her sister cried at just the mention of it, just to get the same attention her sister was getting. I'm not kidding when I describe her jealousy level as primal.)
So, after thinking it over all day, that night I took Jane aside and told her that since she's a big girl who wears panties she gets to stay up extra late and play a game with me. But, I explained to her immediate glee, Kate was a baby who wears diapers so she has to go to bed early because all babies go to bed earlier than big girls.
It was miraculous. It incentivized both girls (because Kate is waffling between hating bedtime and wanting to stay up late, but loving her diapers) and Jane simultaneously gets the attention she craves for a positive behavior without having to resort to a negative behavior.
Feeling pretty proud of myself, I must say.
At some point I think Kate will want to give underwear a try again. She's now fighting me on ever using the potty so she's really loving the diapers. They're full to bursting when I change them and when I ask her why she went in her diaper instead of the potty (since she can pull them down and go potty whenever she wants) she tells me that she just wanted to go in the diaper.
All my boys didn't really potty train till 3 or even later. So long as I'm not wiping up poop I don't mind swapping out peed for dry diapers a couple times of day. If she needs another six months for this phase, we can give her that.
Also, since I'm talking about this new regression phase Kate entered, I'm reminded of a fascinating development in her attachment to me. She used to become freaked out furious every single time I left the house to the point where she'd shriek, tantrum, and then hold her breath till she passed out. Over months it escalated from once a week to several times a day, doing it if I even left the room and she didn't see me go.
I never, ever snuck out on her. I was committed to that, despite the teeth-gritting difficulty of knowing I was setting off a tantrum every time I told her I was leaving the house and it was a trip where she could not come with me (which are very few, btw). I tried teaching her all different coping strategies. I don't really know what worked. I think she just grew out of it.
Now when I leave she can smile, wave, and then calmly go on playing. She also can say things like, "my turn next time" and other phrases to remind her that she'll gets to go with next time I leave.
Are these two developments connected? Is she more securely attached such that she can say good-bye without anxiety, but, has she also attached by reverting back to a baby state, including wearing diapers? She is very, very affectionate and often crawls up into my lap asking for "wock-a-bye". It's incredibly sweet. She's so limp and calm and drooped in my arms. It honestly calms me, too. She places herself so we're tummy to tummy with her arms around my neck or arms. Reminds me of skin-to-skin contact with my infants.
It's always something with these girls. Just when we've got it figured out; they change.
Kate completely regressed about a month ago to wetting herself all day long. Could hardly go three hours. Doc recommended medicines and OTC remedies didn't work. It was becoming an area of anxiety for her. I think she actually began peeing herself out of fear when she thought she might've peed herself but hadn't yet...bizarro situations she couldn't unravel at 2.5.
So, back to diapers full time but with these caveats:
a) I ask her every morning if she wants diapers or underwear and honor her choice (she's relieved to be able to choose diapers but once did choose underwear).
b) I prompt her to use the potty regularly. She pees in it about four times a day but still has a soaked diaper inbetween. She always poops in the potty, thank god.
On the day that I told Kate she could go back to diapers Jane was standing there and I watched this animalistic-level jealousy play out across her face. She was furious that Kate was getting this kind of mommy-baby attention. Set off all her triggers.
I thought about it all day. I was positive she would begin peeing herself again just for the attention.
(The last time Kate was on antibiotics for suspected UTI--yes, I've pursued that endlessly with no results--it tasted horrid and Kate needed tons of coaching and special treats to get it down. Jane was so insanely furious at this special treatment that she tried to tell me she was sick and needed the medicine, too. So, the girl would actually volunteer to eat something so revolting her sister cried at just the mention of it, just to get the same attention her sister was getting. I'm not kidding when I describe her jealousy level as primal.)
So, after thinking it over all day, that night I took Jane aside and told her that since she's a big girl who wears panties she gets to stay up extra late and play a game with me. But, I explained to her immediate glee, Kate was a baby who wears diapers so she has to go to bed early because all babies go to bed earlier than big girls.
It was miraculous. It incentivized both girls (because Kate is waffling between hating bedtime and wanting to stay up late, but loving her diapers) and Jane simultaneously gets the attention she craves for a positive behavior without having to resort to a negative behavior.
Feeling pretty proud of myself, I must say.
At some point I think Kate will want to give underwear a try again. She's now fighting me on ever using the potty so she's really loving the diapers. They're full to bursting when I change them and when I ask her why she went in her diaper instead of the potty (since she can pull them down and go potty whenever she wants) she tells me that she just wanted to go in the diaper.
All my boys didn't really potty train till 3 or even later. So long as I'm not wiping up poop I don't mind swapping out peed for dry diapers a couple times of day. If she needs another six months for this phase, we can give her that.
Also, since I'm talking about this new regression phase Kate entered, I'm reminded of a fascinating development in her attachment to me. She used to become freaked out furious every single time I left the house to the point where she'd shriek, tantrum, and then hold her breath till she passed out. Over months it escalated from once a week to several times a day, doing it if I even left the room and she didn't see me go.
I never, ever snuck out on her. I was committed to that, despite the teeth-gritting difficulty of knowing I was setting off a tantrum every time I told her I was leaving the house and it was a trip where she could not come with me (which are very few, btw). I tried teaching her all different coping strategies. I don't really know what worked. I think she just grew out of it.
Now when I leave she can smile, wave, and then calmly go on playing. She also can say things like, "my turn next time" and other phrases to remind her that she'll gets to go with next time I leave.
Are these two developments connected? Is she more securely attached such that she can say good-bye without anxiety, but, has she also attached by reverting back to a baby state, including wearing diapers? She is very, very affectionate and often crawls up into my lap asking for "wock-a-bye". It's incredibly sweet. She's so limp and calm and drooped in my arms. It honestly calms me, too. She places herself so we're tummy to tummy with her arms around my neck or arms. Reminds me of skin-to-skin contact with my infants.
It's always something with these girls. Just when we've got it figured out; they change.
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