Foster Further

 We had a therapist for nine months of the year the girls were in foster care. She was useless. The girls, literally, did the exact same activities with the exact same toys without any more input from her on the last day of therapy as on their first. I never did understand what the purpose of any of it was. And I did ask! Her answers were fluffy and vague and almost as if she had to hide her intentions from even me.  We took about a year off but I know we need help. I've been searching for awhile. It started with asking friends for references. That was a dead end. Then I did a big search with an online tool for finding the right therapist for you! Every single one offered to help me transition from one gender to another...not so much expertise with adoption. I did find seven therapists to contact, though. Every single one responded saying they weren't taking new patients.  A few days ago I did another big search. This time I just did a Google search for "adoption therapist

 I've been seriously seeking a therapist for our family for several months now. It's ridiculously hard. I could not find someone who a) has experience with foster/adopt children, and b) accepts our insurance, and c) was in our area.  Finally, a friend said that since it's all telehealth anyway, the therapist could be from anywhere in the state (should be in-state for insurance purposes, though). Two nights ago I spent another 2 hrs digging through endless websites and bios--the most mind numbing exercise since they all sound the same so you're scanning for the tiniest differences and then trying to decide if they mean anything. It's like the saddest dating app ever because nobody wants to be too funny or too cute (what kind of person wants the white guy with bad dreds and love bead necklaces for a therapist...?). Sent out a bunch of queries--which then reminds me of cover letters and manuscripts and publishing agents and how impossible it is to capture your unique n

 Today Jane is stuttering terribly. And she had a bit of diarrhea at school. A tiny accident in her pants. She did not tell the teacher. Waited till she got home to tell me.  When I picked her up from school I looked at her face and knew what'd happened. I'm trying so hard to set her up for success in regards to the lying issue. So, I waited till we were home and alone. I had her pick out a piece of candy from a bowl. I held it and said she could have it if she told the truth. Then I told her I'd be checking her pants to see if she lied. I put the tightest parameters on her I could think of, plus held out a reward.  I said, "tell the truth. Did you poop yourself at school?" She said yes.  I was so relieved she actually told the truth I didn't even care. She said she just couldn't get there in time. I understand; accidents happen. But, how bizarre is it that my daughter said she pooped herself and I immediately reward her with candy.  So, why is she stutter

 I'm puzzled by what I've just observed and so I'm going to record my observations here to try to work out what happened.  1. Today is Tues. It's the 5th of a 5 day stretch at home for Kate (regular Fri off school, then 3 day weekend plus a snow day). Very cold weather and storms so we haven't left the house. 2. Last week was a turbulent school week--special dress up days, Valentine's Day parties/crafts/activities, half-day schedule, etc. 3. Last week there was a lot of talk of "love" due to Valentine's Day. 4. Last week both girls seemed pissy, irritable, hyper, jealous, cranky when playing with each other, etc. 5. Six days ago Kate began pooping in her underwear. Filling them with poop. Sometimes she'd finish pooping on the toilet, sometimes she told me she only pooped in her underwear and never went on the toilet--just kept on playing. She did this every day for 5 out of 6 days.  6. Six days ago I discovered what was happening when I did the