Foster Further

Tomorrow we tell Grandma that the adoption was finalized. I've been preparing a letter we will give her that a) thanks her for continuing to be a part of their lives, b) assures her we want that to continue, and c) outlines our boundaries going forward. I'll talk this through in person but I also wanted to give her a letter so she'd have something concrete to read if she became too emotional while we were talking and also so she could show it to others in her life who could help her understand. I've already called the Aunt and told her about the adoption finalization and she agrees this is a good plan. One thing I waffled with is trying to manage her social media posts. On one hand it's ridiculous to even try. She can open up new accounts I don't know about--she can show people pictures she takes on her phone when she's with them in person. If she's going to have access to the girls then I cannot control what she does with that access. On the other...

I've been using FB to find out more about family relationships and about the people who say they want to be a part of the girls' lives. I feel like an anthropologist delving into another world. I'm also weirdly obsessed with knowing if any of these people post pictures of the girls that I shared. It makes me strangely angry to see them reposting a picture that I took, at our house, of a special moment that I wanted to capture. And to see who shares pictures with whom (or perhaps, who steals pictures from whom). Here are my main discoveries: a) I discovered that Ken (a fictive relative, is the official term in social work lingo--a person who doesn't have a biological or legal relationship but still considers themselves to be a member of the family, usually a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend of a relative) has a pattern when posting. He posts one Scripture verse, one pro-gun rant, one hate-Democrats meme, one homo- or trans-phobic meme, and then begins the cycle ag...