Foster Further

This morning I had to go to the middle school to pick up items from Gus's locker. The school had cleaned out every child's locker and parents were asked to do a pickup while they returned other items such as band uniforms. Parents were instructed to stay in their cars, make a sign with their kids' name and tape it to the window, roll down windows to exchange but don't make contact, etc. Very well organized. I fought tears the whole time. Everything outside of the house makes me cry these days. All these safety protocols in the grocery store. They set off this urge to wail like a frightened child. Of course I don't. I don't show a single reaction whatsoever--but deep inside I'm totally panicked. So, seeing the school principal and secretary (6 years of kids in this building and I know them well) in masks and gloves and I just wanted to break down and weep. It's so scary and real in ways that a media website's charts and graphics just can't be. ...

Got the kids up early today and headed in for second phase of acclimating to preschool: mom leaving! On the drive there I prepped them all. Showed them the big tub of cookies they'd get to pick from when they got back in the car. Talked about all the fun they had yesterday. Cheered and whoo-hooed our way into the building. ...and it worked! James went right in with no tears. The girls were instantly mingling with their "friends". Very peaceful and smooth. I grocery shopped without kids--a miracle! Got done in half the time as I've completely lost all ability to estimate how long errands should take without toddler delays anymore. Went to pick them up and, another miracle, they were all happy to leave! No tears! No chaos! I swear this preschool teacher, who has been a preschool teacher for 21 years, is an actual saint. She has this lovely calm-but-firm demeanor that just makes kids instantly comply with her every request without even the thought of protest. A...

This week starts with losing an hour to the time change, has a full moon in it, and ends with Friday the 13th. It's also the week my three littles start "real" preschool for the very first time in their life. Not one of them has spent a minute in a school setting before but they'll need to be full time by Friday. Hah! P.S. I got a job. I resigned from teaching a year ago to be home with the girls and now it's time to go back. I found an online teaching job that, let's be honest, isn't real education in the truest sense, but it does give me the flexibility in scheduling that our family needs. So, the littles go to real preschool now, not my little homeschool version. On the week with a time change and a full moon. Oh lordy. Because I know how hard it is to add a new kid to the class, let alone THREE at once, I have already prepared gifts for the classroom teacher and the secretary and we are planning to make a nice, fat donation to the school. At one ti...

This blog has had a very narrow focus--mainly issues with Jane, birth family, and social workers--and so I thought I'd take a moment to write a bit about the other two in our Three Little Musketeers trio. First, Kate is almost three. Her birthday is next month. She is teaching me why the term " threenager " was coined. Oh my, is she ever. All my boys had more difficult threes than twos (I don't know where Terrible Twos came from) but it's about stubbornness and big-opinion-but-deficient-vocabulary scenarios. Kate, on the other hand, has as much attitude and emotional fluctuation as my actual teenagers. I mean, thank god all this attitude is in a body that only comes to my waist, and also that she has the attention span of a toddler so she genuinely forgets why she was being pissy, because, wow, that girl can bring it. And I keep having this moment where I realize that Jane came to us just two months into her three year old year. Poor thing. If she was dealing ...

Both girls have been talking lots lately about how old they are, who is bigger, what age they will be next, what their names are now and are going to be, etc. I feel like we're close enough to the finalization of the adoption that it's safe to answer with definitives. Interestingly, Jane had this whole conversation with me where she asked what her name was when she was born and what it'll be when she's a grown up. Like she wondered if maybe it changed every few years. She was kind of worried throughout our conversation--wondering if she was losing her identity? She felt reassured when I told her that her first name had always been the same and always would be. I'm very glad we didn't change their first names for just this reason. Then, tonight, Kate had an interesting conversation with me. At only 2 years, 9 months she can't have very in depth conversations but I know she's got bigger thoughts than her vocabulary is able to express. She's a very ...

We're two weeks into the Keep-Your-Panties-Dry Incentive and New Bedtime Routine. Exciting times around our house. Kate completely regressed about a month ago to wetting herself all day long. Could hardly go three hours. Doc recommended medicines and OTC remedies didn't work. It was becoming an area of anxiety for her. I think she actually began peeing herself out of fear when she thought she might've peed herself but hadn't yet...bizarro situations she couldn't unravel at 2.5. So, back to diapers full time but with these caveats: a) I ask her every morning if she wants diapers or underwear and honor her choice (she's relieved to be able to choose diapers but once did choose underwear). b) I prompt her to use the potty regularly. She pees in it about four times a day but still has a soaked diaper inbetween. She always poops in the potty, thank god. On the day that I told Kate she could go back to diapers Jane was standing there and I watched this animali...

Kate has begun doing this, "watch me" routine that's adorable. First, she does something naturally on her own. Then, you can see her realizing that that thing was new, interesting, fun to do...something captivating. So, she comes to find me and says, "watch me ___" and then does it. Yesterday she was mooing (like a cow). Kate: "Watch me moo....MOOO!" (giggles in delight) Today she came up to me and said, "watch me run!" and then ran, looking down at her feet as she went the way toddlers do when they're enthralled with their new ability to go fast. After she ran she said, "watch me AHH!" and then she ran while fake-screaming, "AHHHH!" She pronounces watch: 'wot' Yesterday James was hungry. He followed me into the kitchen and then, in his best Coach voice (as Theo describes his loud, problem-solver tone) he announced: "Mama! I find hungry samwich!" He proceeded to open the cupboard doors ...

It seems like I should be recording the cute (and maddening) little things three toddlers do as my own journal of their antics. This would be the post to skip if you aren't into the minutia only parents find interesting. Kate is sooooo two and in love with 'no'. At the table, Kate: Mommy, all done. Me: Okay, you want to get down? Kate: no pause Kate, teary: Mommy, get down? (as if I'd been the one who said she couldn't get down) I helped her down. In the bathroom watching me get ready, Jane stares at herself in the mirror for awhile and then announces: my nose is like a door. Me: a door? (panicked that she's shoved something new up there) Jane, flaring and closing her nostrils: yes, see? It can open and close! I have a feeling the kid's pronunciations are going to work their way into the family vocabulary as Gus's 'yogrit' became our word for 'yogurt'. My favorite so far: banbaids (bandaids) samwich (sandwich) James h...