Foster Further

 One more note about yesterday. I noticed that when the girls were acting up yesterday I truly was not angry. I felt back in my old EI teacher groove where I could calmly observe and reflect to a student but never feel personally involved in the drama. It felt so nice! The equilibriam I was famous for when teaching but that I've struggled to find in my own home.  Being away was so good for me. Thinking other thoughts; being competent around other smart people. Life affirming to me as a human, not just the mother-drone trapped in a small house doing small things repeatedly all day long.  I absolutely have to have professional level conversation and interactions to maintain my sanity. Essential.

 I spent 5 weeks away from home for grad school. I knew it would be tough on the girls. Tried to put as many supports in place as possible.  They fared better than I'd expected. No major issues while I was gone. We've been home for five days now and Day 4 stuff finally came out.  Jane had been baby talking for several days. Then, Kate started it, too. Talked with each girl separately last night. Jane was quite articulate and mature--explaining how peeing herself, anger at me (both sad-anger because I was gone and also anger at anticipating getting in trouble), and baby talking and then being naughty were all connected. She can't say why these peeing and baby talking are connected to strong emotions about me, but she does know that they are. She can't say which comes first or how one leads to another but, again, she connects them as one.  Doesn't take a Freudian to observe that very young girls, neglected by their birth mother, would revert to baby like behaviors whe