Foster Further

 Yesterday was the 33rd anniversary of my father's death. Every year I do the math, and then do the math again, because it does not seem possible that he's been gone so long. For several years now I've been a wife and mother for more years than I was his daughter.  And yet, of course, I have always, and will always be, his daughter. His identity as my father, and my identity as his daughter, didn't stop just because he died. A relationship may not be possible but there is always the fact of identity.  (You see where I'm going as regards adoption, right?) So what does a daughter of a dead father do when Father's Day falls on the 33rd anniversary of his death? Spend it being quite annoyed, actually. All last week as yesterday loomed I became more and more irritated.  Each year differs slightly but generally I move through a host of moods. Some years I truly forget it and am surprised when I realize it has passed by. Other years I spend days deeply anxious about my

 Both girls have resumed peeing their pants this week. Kate has done it 1-2 times a day for the last few days (except not when gone all day to church with dad and the sibs while I stayed home, reinforcing that all children save their worst for the mother, thanks so much darling). Jane did it today. Jane peed her pants while sitting in our dining room 10 feet from a bathroom. Why? Because she didn't want to stop eating.  Pretty sure she's lying. Pretty sure she actually did it while outside playing because she didn't want to come in and she only noticed it when she came in to eat.  Pretty sure it doesn't matter when she did it. The point is that this girl, about to turn 6 in three months still doesn't have control of her body and/or acts out with poop and pee and/or copes with all strong emotions by losing awareness of her body and/or _____ fill in the blank with any theory possible but who the hell knows why she does it.  The one obvious thing is that they experienc

 Just read this post from Brandy Vencel: "Someone once asked me to compare modern education with classical education. One thing I brought up was how the goals differ and therefore the benefits to us as students differ. Modern education seeks to produce a worker for the global economy. This means there are a million times in life when it doesn't offer us anything — when we are waiting for something, when we are too young to work, when we are too old to work, when we are too sick to work, and on and on. A classical, Charlotte Mason education, on the other hand, is valuable no matter what we are doing. It enriches all the moments of life, from the most important days of your life, to when we are home sick on the couch. If I die young, it was still worth it. If I get thrown in jail for civil disobedience, it was still worth it. (Did you know Dietrich Bonhoeffer was given a Charlotte Mason education?)" That's it right there! The modern education does not off

 I took the three littles to our local lake and beach to swim this afternoon. Nobody was there when we got there but soon a van with a family of 6 teenage kids got out, along with mom and dad. The youngest boy looked to be about 11 or 12. I heard the dad say, "why don't you go make some friends?" The boy approached my three kids where they were in the water.  It is somewhat obvious the boy is a tad different. Maybe on the spectrum. Maybe just slightly cognitively impaired. I put down the book I was reading and start watching.  He approaches my youngest daughter, sits in the water next to her and, each time she moves away he scoots closer. I don't like this.  Then, my son comes over and starts talking to the boy. Everything seems fine; they're chatting. Then the boy reaches out and grabs my son's leg. My son laughs and scoots away, then comes back and the big boy does it again. I don't like it but it's just a little weird and not too bad.  Then the boy