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Transition? I'll Just Pee My Pants

 Both girls have resumed peeing their pants this week. Kate has done it 1-2 times a day for the last few days (except not when gone all day to church with dad and the sibs while I stayed home, reinforcing that all children save their worst for the mother, thanks so much darling). Jane did it today. Jane peed her pants while sitting in our dining room 10 feet from a bathroom. Why? Because she didn't want to stop eating. 

Pretty sure she's lying. Pretty sure she actually did it while outside playing because she didn't want to come in and she only noticed it when she came in to eat. 

Pretty sure it doesn't matter when she did it. The point is that this girl, about to turn 6 in three months still doesn't have control of her body and/or acts out with poop and pee and/or copes with all strong emotions by losing awareness of her body and/or _____ fill in the blank with any theory possible but who the hell knows why she does it. 

The one obvious thing is that they experienced transition. We ended the school year. On the therapists advice I didn't make a big deal out of it. But I was also surprised that neither girl expressed any sadness whatsoever. These are the girls who can cry over the tiniest thing all day long. Yet neither even acknowledged school was ending in any way whatsoever. 

On the last day when I asked Jane if she'd said good-bye to any friend in particular she got very quiet and then said no, because she didn't have any friends. I don't know what to think. It's possible. She is weird and whiny and eventually even 5 yr olds get tired of the least mature kid in the room. I also hate her teacher just that bit more. Seriously, a Kindergarten teacher can't teach kids how to be nice? Can't find some tiny way for each kid to feel successful and important even just once a day? Can't be bothered to teach an awkward kid any social skills? Really, lady, churning out the endless worksheets was more important than any of that? Our schools are so messed up. 

Or maybe Jane didn't say good-bye to anyone because she doesn't know how to do good-byes. Because any loss is too much loss and every loss is too fraught to cope with. So I'll just pretend it never happened and go pee my pants instead. 

Kate, at least, is talking about the next thing. She keeps saying, "we do school at home now!" And I cannot explain the concept of summer to her because she still doesn't fully grasp weeks and months and...gah. I suppose I need to do some kind of big visual calendar for them but right now, at the tail end of 10 months of schooling, any teaching tool of any type is just a bit beyond me. 

All I know is that I am dead tired of girls peeing their pants because it is a reminder that there will always be something. There will always be a past behavior or a new behavior but somehow, for some reason, there will be a behavior. I hope when they're adults the behaviors are manageable. But for right now we are down and dirty in the middle of yucky annoying behaviors.


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