While reading a blog by an adoptee I ran across this quote: "I love my adoptive parents and I hate that I was adopted." I don't know why the harsh simplicity of that statement spoke to me so strongly but it literally stopped my eyes on the page. I reread and reread it. There it is. All the complexity of adoption in one simple sentence. All the beauty and pain; love and fear; the lived journey and missing holes; simply, the truth. After clicking on this author's bio I read an entire post about Adoption Loyalty. It spoke about how the adoptee fears loss to such an extent that he/she will fake being okay about his/her adoption in order to avoid displeasing the adoptive parents. When adoptive parents pretend all is okay then the adoptee must also pretend or fear being rejected again. So well written and powerful. I've read a lot about adoptees rejecting their parents but never before have I seen a lengthy essay about this painful form of loyalty. Thing to mull over...
The main characters: Beth and Theo (parents), Three bio sons: Seth (18), Gus (14), and James (4). Two adoptive daughters: Jane (4) and Kate (3). Our foster-to-adopt girls were placed with us Nov, 18 and adopted Feb, 20. All names are pseudonyms to protect our privacy. Beth is a special education teacher. Theo is an IT guy. We become foster parents in Aug, 2018. This blog is about foster care, adoption, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Sensory Integration Disorders.