Foster Further

 I took the three littles to our local lake and beach to swim this afternoon. Nobody was there when we got there but soon a van with a family of 6 teenage kids got out, along with mom and dad. The youngest boy looked to be about 11 or 12. I heard the dad say, "why don't you go make some friends?" The boy approached my three kids where they were in the water.  It is somewhat obvious the boy is a tad different. Maybe on the spectrum. Maybe just slightly cognitively impaired. I put down the book I was reading and start watching.  He approaches my youngest daughter, sits in the water next to her and, each time she moves away he scoots closer. I don't like this.  Then, my son comes over and starts talking to the boy. Everything seems fine; they're chatting. Then the boy reaches out and grabs my son's leg. My son laughs and scoots away, then comes back and the big boy does it again. I don't like it but it's just a little weird and not too bad.  Then the boy ...

Jane has lived here for 19 months. Just over a year and a half. She came at 3 yrs, 2 months. She is now 4 years 10 months. Soon she will celebrate her second birthday since coming here. I've bought all the clothes and shoes and coats and toys she owns. I decorated her bedroom. I choose what she eats and when. I give her baths and wash her hair and sometimes assist her in the bathroom. I can tell you the exact shape of her toes and how their shape differs from mine. I can predict how she'll react to most situations. She doesn't like ketchup or baked beans. When she is most anxious she needs the super bright night light. I know she's in a good place when she asks for the smaller night light. She picks on the cat when she's mad at me. Jane and I have spent enough time together and know enough about each other (I bet she knows all the same details about my likes and dislikes) to be bonded by now. But I don't think we are. And I don't know that we will ever be. T...

Some moms in my circle have posted snippets about Body Autonomy recently. A mother will post a picture of a child behaving rudely when asked to pose for a special event and then applaud her own child for making his own decisions with his body. Cue obligatory "you're such a great mom!" comments from others in her tribe. These are all very young first time moms who are woke in all kinds of ways. I'm sure I was that mom, too, about a decade and a half ago. But nowadays I'm parenting more like my grandparents than this generation of TL;DR millenialls who think a really long FB post from an emphatically non-expert influencer is enough research for them. (And, as a friend pointed out, the message of I-do-what-I-want is what is causing a society that contributes to global warming, a rape culture, insufficient tax base to create a social safety net for the most needy, etc. etc. etc. It's about the least Christian message I can imagine.) The reality is that no...