Strange Boys at the Lake

 I took the three littles to our local lake and beach to swim this afternoon. Nobody was there when we got there but soon a van with a family of 6 teenage kids got out, along with mom and dad. The youngest boy looked to be about 11 or 12. I heard the dad say, "why don't you go make some friends?" The boy approached my three kids where they were in the water. 

It is somewhat obvious the boy is a tad different. Maybe on the spectrum. Maybe just slightly cognitively impaired. I put down the book I was reading and start watching. 

He approaches my youngest daughter, sits in the water next to her and, each time she moves away he scoots closer. I don't like this. 

Then, my son comes over and starts talking to the boy. Everything seems fine; they're chatting. Then the boy reaches out and grabs my son's leg. My son laughs and scoots away, then comes back and the big boy does it again. I don't like it but it's just a little weird and not too bad. 

Then the boy acted like he was going to grab my daughter. Nope. 

I'm on my feet and at the edge of the water and I say the boys' name (he had introduced himself to my kids and I overheard his name). He looks startled since I came up behind him. I deliver one short sentence in my special ed teacher's voice that is kind but firm. "Grayson, don't put your hands on my kids." 

He says to me, "I'm only playing."

I say, "I know, but putting your hands on someone is not okay." 

He says alright and pretty soon moves away to swim with his own family. 

I was glad that my children saw me stopping a stranger from putting his hands on them. I sat there reflecting on my hesitancy when he touched my son but instant action when he attempted to touch my daughter. If my son had seemed upset I definitely would've intervened instantly but he'd laughed like he does when his brothers wrestle with him. But still, do I want strangers touching my son? No. 

We're pretty conscious about not parenting our children differently based on gender but instead focused on individual needs. Still, moments like this make me think. 

Overall I'm glad the climate has changed. It is weird for a much larger boy to play with and touch strange, younger children. I am glad I felt empowered to say that's not okay. I think I would've felt more self-conscious and more hesitant 15 years ago when our eldest was this age. 

The bod autonomy thing gets out of hand too often...but sometimes it is exactly right.