Foster Further

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had since the girls came to us. For no apparent reason. Jane just decided to be really naughty all day long, about five minutes after she was released from each time out session. The past week we've been talking about anger, triggered by some incidents that occurred during her last therapy sessions. I had been telling her it's okay to show anger for a few days now. Well, she sure as hell took me up on the offer. Except not the way I meant it. I meant she should have a tantrum, yell, scream, even hit. Get it out! Express it! Be honest! Be real with me! Trust me enough to show a single authentic emotion already! Nope. She decided to do the most sneaky, underhanded, devious, manipulative, destructive things her little 4 year old brain could think of. I think she spent every minute of her time outs just planning what she'd do next. I was patient, calm, and creative in my consequences for the first two events. Then, she took Kat...

During our six-month check-in with our licensing worker, he asked some of the same questions he'd asked at our initial visit and then chuckled at our responses. He said we did the same thing everyone does. When asked, "what do kids need most?" everyone says "love" at first. Six months into fostering, when asked the same questions, everyone says, "routines and boundaries". We chuckled along with him but shared that husband-wife look over his head. Why? Because they're the same thing. Routines, boundaries, discipline, rules, consequences, correction, explanation---it's all love. Our society is familiar with the harm that comes when a child is physically neglected. It's easy to see the kid that appears dirty, hungry, hurt, etc. But equally harmful is the parent who neglects to instruct and correct their child in how to be a functioning member of society and a generally nice person. Who fails to discipline. (Ugh, I hate that discipline ...