Update to Previous Post (Observation: Time Alone)

Today Jane is stuttering terribly. And she had a bit of diarrhea at school. A tiny accident in her pants. She did not tell the teacher. Waited till she got home to tell me.

When I picked her up from school I looked at her face and knew what'd happened. I'm trying so hard to set her up for success in regards to the lying issue. So, I waited till we were home and alone. I had her pick out a piece of candy from a bowl. I held it and said she could have it if she told the truth. Then I told her I'd be checking her pants to see if she lied. I put the tightest parameters on her I could think of, plus held out a reward.

I said, "tell the truth. Did you poop yourself at school?"

She said yes.

I was so relieved she actually told the truth I didn't even care. She said she just couldn't get there in time. I understand; accidents happen. But, how bizarre is it that my daughter said she pooped herself and I immediately reward her with candy.

So, why is she stuttering? It's the worst it ever gets. Stress over the diarrhea? Stress over finally having to tell the truth when she so adamantly lies and hides most of the time?

I dunno.

Comments

Family Visit Success!

Last weekend we did a family visit that was a return to how we'd first begun doing them. Theo and I drove the girls down and stayed and hung out with the family the whole time. The visit was just 1.5 hours long. Aunt made the lovely suggestion that good-byes would happen in the house and not at the car. She even coached grandma to do them quickly. So, we did a quick but sincere good-bye then left. No drama with grandma climbing over seats or Jane wailing from her car seat. And it all worked! Girls were cheerful and chatty on the way home! No nightmares for Jane that night! Kate was even okay--one day of extreme clinginess but then she returned to usual level of attachment-bonding cling! I'm so incredibly relieved! Because what would I have done if this hadn't worked?? I could not bear the thought of telling them we were stopping visits completely not least of all because I truly don't believe that would be the right path, long term. But now I don't have to f...

Halloween Hell

Tomorrow the kids will do a daytime Trunk or Treat event with Grandma. I suggested the outing about two months ago, chose the event, coordinated a meeting place with her, bought the kids costumes, prepped them for it, and now it's happening. I did it all. And I am dreading it with every fiber in my being. All this week my mood has been sliding downhill the closer it gets. I hate meet ups with Grandma. There was a time when I hated them less, now I hate them with visceral dread. Why? Because I don't want Grandma to know where the girls are in school. It was a huge mistake to tell her our home address and last name. A few weeks after we did that I got a phone call from a relative telling me about Grandma sneaking her son back into other grandchildren's lives. The relative warned me to "look in the back seat of her car" in case she was hiding him in there when she came to visit us. Needless to say, she was never invited to our house again. So, what do I do? Yes, ...

Turning Two in a Tutu

Kate turns two this week! After sixteen years of boys I'm going a little over the top with the pink and fluff but I just can't hold back. And with pictures like these, even minute of planning and prep was worth it! She loves to play dress up and have tea parties with her stuffed animals. She's so adorable! Jane and James are 3 and a half so I decided we needed to celebrate their half birthdays, too. Any excuse for a cupcake!

Foster Further

Search This Blog