Sensory Path

Today I renewed the Sensory Path I implemented last winter for Jane. It'd gotten neglected over the summer when I could just send her out to the trampoline and to play in the backyard to meet her physical needs. 

Today I redid all the station prompts (pages with clip art images on them so she can remember what to do without reading). I eliminated some things that were no longer available and added a few new ones. There are five pages of prompts--each a different kind of movement--placed in 3 different rooms. 

Why did I do this today? Because she came to talk to me, and stood there talking to me for a good five minutes, with something in her mouth. I finally asked her what it was and only then did she become aware and then, ashamed. It was a toenail. She was sucking on her toenail that she'd just chewed off her foot. 

I can't even begin to explain how gross this girl is sometimes. It's like she reverts to an animalistic state when unsupervised for too long. Lately she's also been constantly jumping on the furniture, breaking all her toys from playing too rough, walking on tippy toes, and has her fingers perpetually twisted into knots. 

I, being the experienced special education teacher that I am, can recognize signs that her sensory integration disorder is out of control and her need for stimulation is so severe she is chewing on her own filthy feet. I, being knowledgeable and capable, can then immediately implement the tool to help her and teach her how to use the tool in a fun and engaging way so she feels it's a reward and not a punishment. 

What would her birth parents have done? Nothing. They wouldn't have recognized or understood or coped at all. They couldn't have solved any of her problems. If a teacher identified a problem and tried to give them the tools, they still couldn't have followed through and used them at home. In fact, they only would've perpetuated unhealthy behaviors found in families with generational trauma. Just like her mother, Jane eventually would've turned to drugs to calm the irritation she feels being in her own skin much of the time. 

When I unveiled the new Sensory Path to her I connected it to sucking on her own toenail. I explained that when our body needs something we can make bad choices or good choices to give it what it needs. I pointed out that she is in control of making this choice every day. She needs to do the path on her own without me prompting her. 

I know that teaching her to make healthy choices for her body's needs is the single most important habit we can teach her. I'm also looking into good quality online dance or exercise classes so we can begin doing those, too. She has to like making her body feel good in healthy ways. It's our only hope for breaking the generational cycle of drug use and promiscuity. 

But meanwhile I feel more like an outside professional than a mother. Seeing her pull that toenail out of her mouth, knowing she'd been avidly sucking on it for ages...I just can't even begin to explain how much she grosses me out.