Skip to main content

A Song About Adoption

 Today the youngest child, Kate, age 3, got a new stuffed animal toy. She'd been waiting for it for ages (well, two days, but you know, that's ages and ages) and was deeply delighted when it came. She hugged it to her face and walked around the house talking to it. 

I was working so only listening to her with half an ear until I realized what she was doing. She was singing it her own little made up song. The phrases I caught were: when I was a tiny baby...waiting for someone to come get me...then you took me to your home...I was waiting and waiting...

I realized that she was singing a song about adoption. My bio kids, when her age doing that same kind of play, would've said: when I was a tiny baby in mommy's tummy.... She did not. It really struck me.

It was a happy, tender moment for her. The look on her face was sweet and loving. 

But, it surprised me, all the same. After awhile I finished up what I was working on and went to sit beside her on the couch. I asked her to tell me all about her new kitty cat. She showed it to me. Then I asked her about her song and said, "it sounds like you're singing about your adoption." 

She wanted to talk about it. We went over the story. In her version she was no where, living in no house, just waiting and waiting and then one day mommy and daddy brought her and Jane and James all to our house. (She always thinks James was adopted, too.) I gave her a few more details. Yes, she was in someone else's house but that house wasn't safe so important people brought she and Jane to our house and we were sooooo happy when they came to live with us. 

It was a sweet moment full of hugs and kisses. Her adoption story, because she was only 20 months instead of 3.5 as Jane was, is always going to be so much simpler, with less angst.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Family Visit Success!

Last weekend we did a family visit that was a return to how we'd first begun doing them. Theo and I drove the girls down and stayed and hung out with the family the whole time. The visit was just 1.5 hours long. Aunt made the lovely suggestion that good-byes would happen in the house and not at the car. She even coached grandma to do them quickly. So, we did a quick but sincere good-bye then left. No drama with grandma climbing over seats or Jane wailing from her car seat. And it all worked! Girls were cheerful and chatty on the way home! No nightmares for Jane that night! Kate was even okay--one day of extreme clinginess but then she returned to usual level of attachment-bonding cling! I'm so incredibly relieved! Because what would I have done if this hadn't worked?? I could not bear the thought of telling them we were stopping visits completely not least of all because I truly don't believe that would be the right path, long term. But now I don't have to f...
Post a Comment
Read more

Halloween Hell

 Tomorrow the kids will do a daytime Trunk or Treat event with Grandma. I suggested the outing about two months ago, chose the event, coordinated a meeting place with her, bought the kids costumes, prepped them for it, and now it's happening. I did it all. And I am dreading it with every fiber in my being. All this week my mood has been sliding downhill the closer it gets.  I hate meet ups with Grandma. There was a time when I hated them less, now I hate them with visceral dread. Why? Because I don't want Grandma to know where the girls are in school.  It was a huge mistake to tell her our home address and last name. A few weeks after we did that I got a phone call from a relative telling me about Grandma sneaking her son back into other grandchildren's lives. The relative warned me to "look in the back seat of her car" in case she was hiding him in there when she came to visit us. Needless to say, she was never invited to our house again.  So, what do I do? Yes, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Turning Two in a Tutu

Kate turns two this week! After sixteen years of boys I'm going a little over the top with the pink and fluff but I just can't hold back. And with pictures like these, even minute of planning and prep was worth it! She loves to play dress up and have tea parties with her stuffed animals. She's so adorable! Jane and James are 3 and a half so I decided we needed to celebrate their half birthdays, too. Any excuse for a cupcake!
Post a Comment
Read more