Emotional Intelligence

 Today the three littles watched the movie: Mr. Peabody and Sherman. They'd never seen it or any of the characters before. They were each equally mesmerized (not all cartoons/movies appeal equally but this was the rare one that captivated them all.) 

Afterwards they were telling me about it while eating lunch. James was emphatic that Mr. Peabody was sad. His face scrunched up and his voice sounded extra tragic as he told me. He couldn't give details, though, so I asked Jane about that part. Typically she has more awareness and a bigger vocabulary so she can elaborate when he gets stuck. This time she looked blank. Nobody was sad, she said. I gave a few synonyms but she was adamant. The movie was only about a machine that wouldn't work and they had to fix it, she said. Next, I looked at Kate and asked her if there was a sad part. Yes, the man lost his other son, she said and her tiny face crumpled and she began to sob. I went to her and picked her up and held her in my lap and she cried and cried about one person being lost and they couldn't find him. (This is her worst fear--being left behind and lost.)

So, there you have it. Two with an awareness of emotions as portrayed in film, and one without. One time the therapist identified a reason why I struggle with Jane. I can't remember her exact phrase but she talked about Jane being "not fully human" with the full human expression of emotions. It was a jarring phrase, and the most disconcerting thing I've ever heard someone say about a child. In all my years as a special ed teacher I've never had anyone describe a child as not fully human. 

But there is something robotic about her. Not in an autistic, way. Just in a lack-of-depth way. She wants to live by rules but she isn't interested in why those rules are there. How those rules for social interaction help smooth the way people interact with one another. 

Interestingly, about 20 minutes before this conversation Jane had come up to me and leaned into me as she often does when first seeing me in the morning. She put her arms around my waist and I rubbed her back for a very long time. Neither of us saying anything, but just hugging. So, she does seek physical affection--but it's on a physical level, not really on an emotional level.