We're barely even into this thing and people are already writing advise articles and inspirational memes about how not to lose the great lessons we are learning from the nationwide self-quarantine. (Proving that Americans really can't concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes.)
But, I wouldn't be your average middle aged, middle class, moderately educated American woman if I didn't stop and consider the inspirational meme in order to feel guilty about whether I was, in fact, learning something profound from this experience. That's why these memes exist, after all. For maximum guilt with minimum accuracy.
So most of them say something about how after this we should continue to spend time with our families and avoid going back to our hyper-busy lives. I spent a moment really pondering this.
Is this quarantine teaching us to spend more time with our kids?
Are we now spending better quality time as a family?
Am I fundamentally changed as a mother?
NOOO!
We already do spend the absolutely maximum possible minutes per day with our kids. They wouldn't accept anything less! We already are emotionally available for every need every child has. That's just how we parent! We already have created a home where our children like us and prefer our company and our advise over that of their friends. I truly am not sure how we did this but I see it played out every day so I gotta believe its true.
So, you know what--good enough! We are damn well good enough parents with a good enough family in a good enough home!
No we sure don't have dinner together every night; nor do we have a regularly scheduled perfectly picturesque game night with popcorn. But our kids are in our space every second of the day. They are there when I'm doing laundry or vegging on the couch or petting the dog or making my bed or getting myself a snack that I reflexively divide up among all the bodies in the room without even thinking about it anymore. We interact with our kids incessantly. It's enough. They're fine. We're okay.
Back off you advice columnists and meme writers! Go pester someone else!
But, I wouldn't be your average middle aged, middle class, moderately educated American woman if I didn't stop and consider the inspirational meme in order to feel guilty about whether I was, in fact, learning something profound from this experience. That's why these memes exist, after all. For maximum guilt with minimum accuracy.
So most of them say something about how after this we should continue to spend time with our families and avoid going back to our hyper-busy lives. I spent a moment really pondering this.
Is this quarantine teaching us to spend more time with our kids?
Are we now spending better quality time as a family?
Am I fundamentally changed as a mother?
NOOO!
We already do spend the absolutely maximum possible minutes per day with our kids. They wouldn't accept anything less! We already are emotionally available for every need every child has. That's just how we parent! We already have created a home where our children like us and prefer our company and our advise over that of their friends. I truly am not sure how we did this but I see it played out every day so I gotta believe its true.
So, you know what--good enough! We are damn well good enough parents with a good enough family in a good enough home!
No we sure don't have dinner together every night; nor do we have a regularly scheduled perfectly picturesque game night with popcorn. But our kids are in our space every second of the day. They are there when I'm doing laundry or vegging on the couch or petting the dog or making my bed or getting myself a snack that I reflexively divide up among all the bodies in the room without even thinking about it anymore. We interact with our kids incessantly. It's enough. They're fine. We're okay.
Back off you advice columnists and meme writers! Go pester someone else!
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