Skip to main content

Thoroughness vs CYA

I thought of another example (see previous post) on how bureaucracy harms more than helps.

In the checklist of items to do before being initially licensed was a CPR certification for the adults in the home. The agency offered a link to a website where you could do a chintzy online quiz to get your certification (the same one I've done every year before school starts as part of back-to-school PD for teachers). I knew it was a joke and I wanted us to all be truly prepared--even our oldest son since I knew he'd be watching the kids sometimes.

So, back then I signed up Theo, Seth (then 16) and I for a 4 hour class, in person, with real CPR dummies, an AED practice thingy, first aid materials, etc. We paid about $60 per person out of our own pocket. Since we were the only people in the class we were able to focus on infant and child CPR and scenarios that might come up, like choking. In the weeks after the class we talked about it and also taught Gus (then 12) a few things. It was a good thing and I just felt more prepared for helping anyone, not just a foster child.

The CPR/First Aid class we took from the American Red Cross certified all of us for two years (if I remember correctly, maybe it's actually longer). But, that is irrelevant to the state.

Even though we gave them copies of the card that was issued to us, the agency still requires us to do the online class because that's the only one they "recognize".

So, here's what I do. I log on, I scroll to the bottom of the screen without reading one word or watching one video, I click the NEXT button, and I repeat that for about 5-6 screens. At the end, because our agency has instructed us we don't need to take the quiz, I take a screenshot of the "You're done!" text and email that to our licensing worker.

I literally was done in about 30 seconds and did not read one word but now I'm "certified". In fact, I'm more certified than I was after taking the 4 hour in-person class because I took the "recognized" class our agency accepts.

On one hand I should be grateful it's so easy, right? But I guess it's a quirk of my personality that I don't feel grateful for being complicit in a meaningless task just so the state can cover their ass when a foster child dies in a home.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Flash Fiction - Guilt Free

And this one I wrote for the fun of it. It was delicious to wallow in such a world of self-indulgence I'll never know. This is flash fiction (less than 1,000 words). Guilt Free It was fudge sauce, thick and cold from the back of the fridge, dipped in gourmet raspberry jam—the kind from France with the understated label—straight onto a spoon and then suckled in my mouth, a frosty mug of milk tremoring faintly in my left hand, to be gulped in indelicate swaths allowing a dribble or two down my front, the first time I hit her. Not really hit. Shoved. A forceful push. A push that began with contact. The contact of my hand wedging so neatly between her small sharp shoulder blades, wedging in so that I almost could not retract myself from the catapulting force launching her into the tub. Not a hit—there was no smacking, cracking, sharp stinging rebound. No bruise. She’d laughed. She’d thought it was a game. Like when I clapped my hands together as she went up the stairs, cla...

Birthday Party

Today was Kate's 2nd birthday party. We'd planned it long ago to be a chance for family who hadn't seen the girls in awhile to see them and also to meet us. During the trial some family members were there and tempers were running high. I began to regret getting them all together just two days later and considered cancelling the whole thing. On the drive there we strategized and had back-up plans including calling the police. Never in my life have I had to think this way. We left Gus and James at home just so they wouldn't have to witness anything...and Theo and I wouldn't have to think about getting them out of there quickly if it came to that. Only Seth came to take pictures. In the end everything was fine. The angry members did not come--proving yet again that they live for their own drama and self-absorption and cannot consider what the children may want or need.  We had maternal grandma (Laura) and her ex-boyfriend (Ken) there. Ken has been one of the mo...

What Chronic Lying Does to a Relationship

 We got through Christmas. It was fine. Jane held it together better than I thought she would. We went to an AirBnB for four days between Christmas and New Year. That was my gift to the rest of the family instead of presents. I gave Theo a break from everything--he did no meals or childcare. It was good. He got to rest and I took the kids to have fun experiences.  Now we're back to normal. The normal that is now our family. Everyone seems happy; content.  But then, two days ago, there was this tiny interaction between Jane and I that illustrates, for me, how broken our relationship is.  She's been complaining that her room is too hot. First, we closed the heat vent to her room. Then, I gave her several blankets so she has options for how warm she wants her bed to be. She has many types of pajamas and she can choose whatever she wants to wear. Her room is frigid compared to the rest of the house. Still, she complains. I think at this point it's just a thing with her--...