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New Toys Fallout

So this just happened. Jane got up from breakfast, waded into the mess of toys that were gotten out yesterday (while I was sick in bed most of the day) and never put away, and looked at me and said:

"I want fancy toys. I saw them at the store. I wish I could have those kind of toys. Fancy ones like I saw at the store. That's where they are; we could go get them."

It took me about 30 seconds of silence to process what she was saying. The little brat was, mere days after getting all new Christmas toys, asking for better toys. Fancy toys. Sparkly, plastic toys.

Wow.

I seriously wanted to burn it all down. Take every one of her toys and throw it away and leave her with nothing but sticks and dirt to play in. Teach that girl some gratitude.

Instead, I calmed myself and led her through the thought process of acknowledging all she'd been given and how disrespectfully she was treating her new toys by leaving them all over the place.

But, I gotta say, what a lesson for me. When we were buying stuff before Christmas I was happy and relieved. New toys! Hours of fun! Just in time for the long winter--they'd be happy and content all day long immersed in their many new toys!

Nope.

Happy and content is a state of mind; not purchased in the store.

And I am recommitted to shutting down Grandma's insistence on bringing stuff to every visit. She is perpetuating a "new stuff equals love" message that I will not allow to continue. We got an email yesterday that said that adoption should be finalized this week or next. The minute we get that notice we send a letter to Grandma stating how things are going to be from now on. It's time.

P.S. Separate but related note: the minute we got home from FL, Jane found a toy backpack and began stuffing it full of every toy she could find. I watched her. She was crouched over the tub, the look on her face like a starving person who's just found a food cache and is frantically stealing it. When the backpack was crammed as full as possible she didn't know what to do. She just wanted to hoard--there was no real purpose for moving the toys from the tub to her backpack. But the impulse to do her "Haphazard Squirrel" routine was so strong she couldn't resist.

I've never before seen a child look so unhappy while holding a bag full of toys. A reminder that I have got to find a better quality therapist who can truly address the deep issues this little girl has. I can't wait for the adoption to be finalized for the girls to get on our insurance.
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