At church last Sunday as all the pageant moms were shepherding their kids through the process of trying on costumes and rehearsing the songs, I commiserated with another mom that when my husband hears the command to prepare your heart during Advent he goes quiet and still and deep in liturgies and songs and prayers. (He's a lovely father during Advent. He uses his homemade box to reveal an activity each night. It's wonderful. I am glad he does this.)
When I hear that command I begin making five page lists documenting every gift, recipe, craft project, cleaning project, packing-the-family-for-a-road-trip-to-Florida task that must be done. And then start cramming as many tasks as possible into every outing so that we are getting haircuts, mailing Christmas cards, going to the chiropractor, returning library books, shopping for groceries, picking up that weird gift that can only be found at that one store on the other side of town----every single time we leave the house.
Oh how differently one word, "to prepare" can be interpreted.
With these thoughts I related the very weird day I had yesterday. It still bugs me...though I can't put my finger on exactly why.
First...the weird and lost.
1. The sun is shining and it's not supposed to because this is December in the Midwest and I'm confused.
2. I lost the tail to Jane's sheep costume and I need the tail to match the fabric I need to buy to finish her costume. I can't decide if it's worth caring about or not.
3. I took Gus and I to the chiropractor and forgot my purse. I never forget my purse. I looked down and realized I was clutching my address book instead. But, then because I didn't have my purse I couldn't run any of the other errands that required money. This pushed even more tasks to today--including calling the chiropractor to pay.
4. I lost one of three pages of a craft project. Three kids did the green-and-red paint fingerprints wreath that you glue a picture of your kid inside. I have a weird affinity for this craft; some childhood memory of my own that's very warm and fuzzy. So, I had all three kids make it at preschool yesterday and then, because the paint was still wet, when we went to the car I laid the papers out across the trunk. Then I got groceries and moved the pages (then dry) to place grocery bags in the trunk. Then I got home and only had two of the three pages. Yes, there was some wind but did I seriously not notice a page flying by my head when I opened the trunk? Really? So, she had to redo the craft and I can only cope with children's hands covered in paint once per day, not twice. I'm now soaking both our shirts to get the paint out.
Now...the found.
5. Two power cords to my sewing machine suddenly appeared. I mean, literally, appeared out of nowhere. A few years ago I lost a cord and bought another but then found the first so had two cords. I kept both cords in the same, designated spot (my sewing supplies are the one place in my home that nobody messes with cuz a) nobody else sews and b) I go bat shit crazy when anyone touches the ONE place I call my own). A few months ago both cords were missing. I tore two different rooms and a closet apart looking for them and finally concluded that they must've been thrown away by accident last time we cleaned. I bought a new (third) cord.
Yesterday I'm standing by my machine in our bedroom and look down and there's a tangle of two cords at my feet. Just laying on the floor. They weren't there that morning--now they're there. I asked Theo; he was clueless. Did they fall from the ceiling??? How do two cords appear on the floor with no container that would've held them even nearby? Did they come crawling out of hiding on their own?? And where WAS that hiding place??? I am deeply, deeply disturbed by lost items suddenly reappearing ON THEIR OWN.
I suppose I could draw a parallel here about unexpected things coming to us--seems like something Mary might've been thinking, or at least the shepherds anyway.
But mostly I'm just confused and annoyed. How do things deeply sought but lost suddenly return? How do I lose things in the first place? How do I lose things with absolutely no explanation for their loss?
How can I possibly keep track of the needs and wishes of five children through a holiday season packed with expectations? How can I possibly stay sane on a 10 day road trip across the country to meet family members who've never met our daughters before?
How can I shepherd Seth through choosing a college and Gus through all his raging 8th grader emotions and two girls through bonding while grieving, without neglecting James or my marriage or myself? I've already pared us down as far as I can go. We didn't decorate the house. We aren't doing anything fun. No big gifts or surprises planned. I keep paring down further and further and still...things get lost.
When I hear that command I begin making five page lists documenting every gift, recipe, craft project, cleaning project, packing-the-family-for-a-road-trip-to-Florida task that must be done. And then start cramming as many tasks as possible into every outing so that we are getting haircuts, mailing Christmas cards, going to the chiropractor, returning library books, shopping for groceries, picking up that weird gift that can only be found at that one store on the other side of town----every single time we leave the house.
Oh how differently one word, "to prepare" can be interpreted.
With these thoughts I related the very weird day I had yesterday. It still bugs me...though I can't put my finger on exactly why.
First...the weird and lost.
1. The sun is shining and it's not supposed to because this is December in the Midwest and I'm confused.
2. I lost the tail to Jane's sheep costume and I need the tail to match the fabric I need to buy to finish her costume. I can't decide if it's worth caring about or not.
3. I took Gus and I to the chiropractor and forgot my purse. I never forget my purse. I looked down and realized I was clutching my address book instead. But, then because I didn't have my purse I couldn't run any of the other errands that required money. This pushed even more tasks to today--including calling the chiropractor to pay.
4. I lost one of three pages of a craft project. Three kids did the green-and-red paint fingerprints wreath that you glue a picture of your kid inside. I have a weird affinity for this craft; some childhood memory of my own that's very warm and fuzzy. So, I had all three kids make it at preschool yesterday and then, because the paint was still wet, when we went to the car I laid the papers out across the trunk. Then I got groceries and moved the pages (then dry) to place grocery bags in the trunk. Then I got home and only had two of the three pages. Yes, there was some wind but did I seriously not notice a page flying by my head when I opened the trunk? Really? So, she had to redo the craft and I can only cope with children's hands covered in paint once per day, not twice. I'm now soaking both our shirts to get the paint out.
Now...the found.
5. Two power cords to my sewing machine suddenly appeared. I mean, literally, appeared out of nowhere. A few years ago I lost a cord and bought another but then found the first so had two cords. I kept both cords in the same, designated spot (my sewing supplies are the one place in my home that nobody messes with cuz a) nobody else sews and b) I go bat shit crazy when anyone touches the ONE place I call my own). A few months ago both cords were missing. I tore two different rooms and a closet apart looking for them and finally concluded that they must've been thrown away by accident last time we cleaned. I bought a new (third) cord.
Yesterday I'm standing by my machine in our bedroom and look down and there's a tangle of two cords at my feet. Just laying on the floor. They weren't there that morning--now they're there. I asked Theo; he was clueless. Did they fall from the ceiling??? How do two cords appear on the floor with no container that would've held them even nearby? Did they come crawling out of hiding on their own?? And where WAS that hiding place??? I am deeply, deeply disturbed by lost items suddenly reappearing ON THEIR OWN.
I suppose I could draw a parallel here about unexpected things coming to us--seems like something Mary might've been thinking, or at least the shepherds anyway.
But mostly I'm just confused and annoyed. How do things deeply sought but lost suddenly return? How do I lose things in the first place? How do I lose things with absolutely no explanation for their loss?
How can I possibly keep track of the needs and wishes of five children through a holiday season packed with expectations? How can I possibly stay sane on a 10 day road trip across the country to meet family members who've never met our daughters before?
How can I shepherd Seth through choosing a college and Gus through all his raging 8th grader emotions and two girls through bonding while grieving, without neglecting James or my marriage or myself? I've already pared us down as far as I can go. We didn't decorate the house. We aren't doing anything fun. No big gifts or surprises planned. I keep paring down further and further and still...things get lost.
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