Skip to main content

SCARY PEOPLE

We are finally reading deeply thru the paperwork we were given when we assigned the adoption papers. At first, skimming through, I thought it was all stuff we already knew. Nope. Theo is finding some real gems buried in there.

Like, Grandma who knows our last name and address and has been to our house and driven the girls off in our car has a prior conviction for FELONIOUS ASSAULT.

What the hell??!! Nobody thought to inform us of this? Back when I was quizzing every social worker and relative all about grandma?? When I was directly seeking info on whether we should trust her and let her have contact?? That little tidbit didn't come up?

In case you're wondering, here's what felonious assault is:
"Felonious assault, also called assault with a dangerous weapon, occurs when you assault another person with a gun, knife, brass knuckles, or some other weapon that has the potential of causing serious physical injury or death."

And while Theo is doing his deep reading I'm all over FB hunting down the various profiles of these people. I get on Grandpa's profile (the maternal grandfather who sent me the angry message wondering who we are to make decisions about the kids) and every single profile of him going back for years HAS A GUN in it. He has a business of catching and killing pests like bats and raccoons. He has many pictures of dead coyotes caught in brutal traps in which it is clear that they thrashed and suffered a bloody death. He's smiling proudly next to the dead bodies.

Most recent profile picture? Him with a pistol held tight to his chest like maybe he's hiding it in what looks like a public place, such as possibly the lobby of a Wal-Mart, and the frame around it says, "I am the NRA". 

This is the guy who is pissed at us for kidnapping his grandchildren. 

I am officially, seriously, frightened. 

Also, after hours perusing these people's bazillion FB profiles because they have to start a new one every few years, I am struck by the fact that this kind of person only posts pictures of themselves. I intentionally went looking on the birthmother's page for pictures of my girls but, nope, it's a bazillion sexy poses and frames and filters. That's it. And then all their friends commenting how sexy they are. 

Good to know that while her children were being removed and then her parental rights terminated, their birthmother was posting sexy profile pics.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Lied.

For the very first time I lied to a birth family member. I've been brutally honest even when it caused an uproar. I've been honest because I was personally committed to always telling the truth. Until now. Because this lie may actually be the best way to preserve Jane's relationship with her birth family. At our last video call with Grandma Jane seemed uninterested, unengaged, not showing any real emotion. I struggled to find things to prompt her to talk about. Over the next two weeks I waited and she never asked for another call. In the third week I casually brought up the topic and she did not really respond, certainly didn't ask for another call. Finally, yesterday I point blank asked if she wanted to do a video call and she said the word yes but her whole body language said no. It was clear that she was saying yes because she thought she was supposed to, not because she wanted to. So, I took her body language rather than her words and made the decision that we...

Why She Pees...

 Last week the little sister, Kate, got in trouble for peeing herself and then lying about it. She's had a weak bladder her whole life and must be vigilant about going often or she has an accident. If she gets busy playing and nobody reminds her to go, it's inevitable.  I am annoyed at the hassle, but tolerant that it's a medical situation.  Then, tonight I realized Jane smelled like pee. There's no excuse. She can hold it for days if she wants to. She got in trouble (a cold shower to hose off her body). Then I realized her room stank and asked what was going on. She told me she'd been deliberately peeing herself each day for the last three days, "so that you'd smell it and think she did it and then she'd get in trouble."  She's a sociopath.  Who deliberately sits in their own pee for three days for the small thrill of getting their little sister yelled at?  Well, two can play at this manipulation fight. I called Kate into the room and then had...

What Chronic Lying Does to a Relationship

 We got through Christmas. It was fine. Jane held it together better than I thought she would. We went to an AirBnB for four days between Christmas and New Year. That was my gift to the rest of the family instead of presents. I gave Theo a break from everything--he did no meals or childcare. It was good. He got to rest and I took the kids to have fun experiences.  Now we're back to normal. The normal that is now our family. Everyone seems happy; content.  But then, two days ago, there was this tiny interaction between Jane and I that illustrates, for me, how broken our relationship is.  She's been complaining that her room is too hot. First, we closed the heat vent to her room. Then, I gave her several blankets so she has options for how warm she wants her bed to be. She has many types of pajamas and she can choose whatever she wants to wear. Her room is frigid compared to the rest of the house. Still, she complains. I think at this point it's just a thing with her--...