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She Needs the Guardrails

Jane needs rules.

Over the course of the summer we gradually relaxed her wake-up time rule. It was one of those errosions that happen due to parental fatigue over time.

Last night I decided no more. I explained that she'd lost the privilege of  getting up on her own due to X behaviors that I named with her.

I told her she could not get out of her bed for any reason except to go potty. She was to remain in her bed, silently without waking Kate, until I came to get her.

This morning at 8:00 it was already about an hour later than she'd been getting up on her own and I felt I had to hurry and get her so she wouldn't feel abandoned. I went in there--and she was still asleep.

Lesson: this girl cannot manage her body's most basic physical needs.

She cannot stay asleep when she's tired if there's an opportunity to get up and roam unsupervised. She cannot say no to food when she's full if she sees someone else eating because the jealousy overcomes her. She cannot stop and go potty if she's playing because she doesn't feel the sensation of needing to pee coming from her own nerves.

So, we have to mandate her sleep schedule. We have to tell her when to eat and when to stop and to quit being jealous. We have to remind her to pee.

We are her brain.

At this age that's okay. But I wonder, three years from now let's say, when Kate is given greater privleges than Jane even though she's 18 months younger, how that will play out.

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