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Shocking Discovery

Jane does not stutter when she is angry. 

I am so flummoxed by this I can't even process.

Background: yesterday was a bad day. Just nonstop big and little things that ended in a return to time out almost as soon as she got out and an hour long phone call from me to her therapist. We rarely have days like this. Once every three months or so.

Today she came awake still angry. Normally she bounces out of bed happy. This morning it was all dirty looks.

She stayed angry all day. This was very new. Maybe the first time we've seen this and both Theo and I felt it was healthy as it was a normal reaction we'd expect after the consequences she received yesterday.

I was mentally noting what it looks like when she's angry because I've never seen her stay angry more than a few minutes. And that's when it hit me---she had not stuttered once all day!

Her stuttering had gotten really bad last week. Bad enough that I was considering asking for a re-eval by the speech therapist who saw her in January and said it wasn't severe enough for services. She was stuttering at the start of every single phrase.

Today--perfect speech. It was slower, quieter, more muttery-type articulation as if she was too angry to deign to speak to me. But no stutter.

So, then, myriad questions: if a particular emotional state removes the stutter then what frame of mind, or emotional state, causes the stutter? Is she anxious when she's not mad? Or happy? Can happiness cause a stutter? Does being angry activate another portion of her brain that then also affects speech patterns? Is her stutter about word recall or speaking speed? Did she not stutter today because she was consciously thinking about each word and speaking slower because she was clearly choosing the fewest possible words to reply to me? Or, was her anger just such a distraction that she wasn't even able to focus on the stutter?

She's never, ever talked about her stutter and I hesitate to bring it up. My training as a special ed teacher says to ignore it and always allow a kid lots of time; don't hurry them and don't make them self-conscious by correcting them. But maybe she really is bothered by it. Maybe, during her calm/happy state she's trying so hard not to stutter that it actually makes the stutter worse?

Or maybe I am going down the wrong path and have no clue at all.

She gets an evaluation by the local university's Neurology dept to be assessed for signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in a few days. I hope this starts us on a path to understanding how her brain works.

P.S. Mid-afternoon we had a good talk about yesterday. At bedtime we had another good, long talk. She's starting to make the connection between her actions and consequences we WILL enforce. Three and a half, after trauma-filled early years, is very young to be learning this. We'll be patient. Meanwhile, I'm kinda delighted to see her angry and pushing back. I strongly dislike her chameleon-like, eager-to-please, erase-my-true-personality state. I prefer dirty looks to a blank, disassociated face any day.

Update:
Day Two - still no stutter! I'd describe her as kinda pissy this morning. Just mildly defiant to such a tiny degree that someone who didn't know her wouldn't even see it. This afternoon after her therapist's appt she did get downright bratty with me for a short time. I took her out for ice cream because we haven't had a one-on-one day in awhile and the therapist asked to see her alone for the first time so I used the opportunity to do something special.

So, we did a bit of clothes shopping then got a treat.  When she finished her ice cream she began whiny/demanding for more. She never does that. I ignored at first but when she was still talking about it 10 minutes later I reminded her how we talk in our house and that ended it.

She was pretty normal the rest of the day. But still no stutter.

The past two weeks were really sweet. She was super affectionate and seemed gloriously happy at the cottage (all her favorite things nonstop: being outside, playing in water, digging in sand, and constant junk food). She actually ate so much that she said she was full and walked away from a plate with food on it. She has almost never done that before!

So how can being happy and having fun lead to a stutter but being angry and pissed lead to no stutter? I am deeply fascinated.

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