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Whose Team Are They On?

Yesterday both girls got in some trouble. Nothing big but each girl did a few squirrely things that needed to be addressed with a time out, or an I'm sorry, or a bit of restorative justice, i.e. cleaning up that spill.

As a result last night's bedtime was extremely brief. Pajamas, teeth, tucked in--I was too tired for prayers and cuddles. It was just one of those evenings where everyone needed some space...me most of all.

This morning the girls were glad to get up but not especially cuddly with me. After breakfast the three of them went off and played with each other. This continued all day. There was none of the usual competition for my attention and subsequent jealousy.

At first I silently cheered. Has the insane jealousy train finally run out of steam?

Now I'm wondering. Can they only align themselves with one relationship at a time?

Is this their pattern? Play with each other when the adults are unavailable or unsafe. Fight over the adult's attention when the adults are available and safe.  

Has that old pattern morphed into a new version in our house: play with each other when we don't like and/or are angry with the adult?

I remember reading some article about how to promote sibling harmony. One tip was subtly cueing the kids to team up together against the parent in little, harmless ways. Obviously this needs to be done extremely gently in our home during this time of just beginning to establish relationships.

But, it's something to think about. Maybe some board games where they have to team up to win?

Because I really, really, really need them to stop fighting each other for my attention 24/7. It makes me frazzled and short-tempered in a way that no other behavior can.


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