Skip to main content

Entire Adoption System Rant

This is the email I just got from our Adoption social worker:

Listed are the items I need from you,



-          Fingerprinting

-          Local clearance form for you

-          Alternate caregiver form

-          Family assessment questionnaire

-          Utility bill

-          Verification of income

-          Your health insurance card

-          Car payment statement

-          Car insurance statements

-          Mortgage/rent statement

-          Behaviors Checklist

-          Birth Certificates for (husband) & you

-          Social Security Card (copy/picture) for both (husband) & you

-          Health Information Sheet for both (husband) & you

-          Health Insurance Info Sheet

-          Physical Exam for you/Theo & form for doctor to fill out

-          Physical Exams for James, Gus & Seth (physical form filled out by doctor)

-          Copy of Health Insurance Card

-          Adoption Assistance Rate Negotiation/Determination Worksheet

-          Updated Pet Vaccines

-          Unusual Incident form (signed by both parties at the bottom, I handed to you to keep)

-          Updated Driver’s Licenses

-          Central Registry forms for you, Theo and alternate caregiver with ID attached


For the items listed above, the forms from licensing are either expired or we cannot use those forms as they are (name of foster care agency) forms.  Let me know if you have any questions! 

So we pretty much have to do every single thing over again because the adoption agency does not accept forms from the foster care agency. To explain further: our foster care agency chose the adoption agency for us and, in fact, requires us to use them because they are sister organizations under the same umbrella. But they don't accept each other's forms.

Can someone explain how it's possible for our birth certificates and social security cards to expire? Pretty damn sure they've been the same since we were born.

Stupid little people with stupid little forms. Seriously.

So I forwarded the email to our agency supervisors and pointed out that I'd been assured by them the process to become foster care parents would roll over if/when we decided to become adoptive parents. Because I'm not trusting the word of a 22-yr-old bureaucrat who can't even understand her own forms.

Update: at the end of my email to the supervisors I mentioned that we'd been chosen by the Dept of Health and Human Services to participate in an audit of our foster care agency and that that visit was scheduled for two weeks from now and that I'd be discussing the outcome of this issue with the auditor. Well, that got a reply. Suddenly the top supervisor is giving me her personal assurance this will be investigated promptly and instructing her underlings to CC her on all emails and giving them a 24 hr deadline for responding. Fascinating.

I was kinda pissed when we were contacted that we had to participate in the audit (really, one more social worker walking thru my house testing my fire alarms and no doubt giving me more forms to fill out?). But now I'm a little bit pleased.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Family Visit Success!

Last weekend we did a family visit that was a return to how we'd first begun doing them. Theo and I drove the girls down and stayed and hung out with the family the whole time. The visit was just 1.5 hours long. Aunt made the lovely suggestion that good-byes would happen in the house and not at the car. She even coached grandma to do them quickly. So, we did a quick but sincere good-bye then left. No drama with grandma climbing over seats or Jane wailing from her car seat. And it all worked! Girls were cheerful and chatty on the way home! No nightmares for Jane that night! Kate was even okay--one day of extreme clinginess but then she returned to usual level of attachment-bonding cling! I'm so incredibly relieved! Because what would I have done if this hadn't worked?? I could not bear the thought of telling them we were stopping visits completely not least of all because I truly don't believe that would be the right path, long term. But now I don't have to f...

Halloween Hell

 Tomorrow the kids will do a daytime Trunk or Treat event with Grandma. I suggested the outing about two months ago, chose the event, coordinated a meeting place with her, bought the kids costumes, prepped them for it, and now it's happening. I did it all. And I am dreading it with every fiber in my being. All this week my mood has been sliding downhill the closer it gets.  I hate meet ups with Grandma. There was a time when I hated them less, now I hate them with visceral dread. Why? Because I don't want Grandma to know where the girls are in school.  It was a huge mistake to tell her our home address and last name. A few weeks after we did that I got a phone call from a relative telling me about Grandma sneaking her son back into other grandchildren's lives. The relative warned me to "look in the back seat of her car" in case she was hiding him in there when she came to visit us. Needless to say, she was never invited to our house again.  So, what do I do? Yes, ...

Turning Two in a Tutu

Kate turns two this week! After sixteen years of boys I'm going a little over the top with the pink and fluff but I just can't hold back. And with pictures like these, even minute of planning and prep was worth it! She loves to play dress up and have tea parties with her stuffed animals. She's so adorable! Jane and James are 3 and a half so I decided we needed to celebrate their half birthdays, too. Any excuse for a cupcake!