Skip to main content

Entire Adoption System Rant

This is the email I just got from our Adoption social worker:

Listed are the items I need from you,



-          Fingerprinting

-          Local clearance form for you

-          Alternate caregiver form

-          Family assessment questionnaire

-          Utility bill

-          Verification of income

-          Your health insurance card

-          Car payment statement

-          Car insurance statements

-          Mortgage/rent statement

-          Behaviors Checklist

-          Birth Certificates for (husband) & you

-          Social Security Card (copy/picture) for both (husband) & you

-          Health Information Sheet for both (husband) & you

-          Health Insurance Info Sheet

-          Physical Exam for you/Theo & form for doctor to fill out

-          Physical Exams for James, Gus & Seth (physical form filled out by doctor)

-          Copy of Health Insurance Card

-          Adoption Assistance Rate Negotiation/Determination Worksheet

-          Updated Pet Vaccines

-          Unusual Incident form (signed by both parties at the bottom, I handed to you to keep)

-          Updated Driver’s Licenses

-          Central Registry forms for you, Theo and alternate caregiver with ID attached


For the items listed above, the forms from licensing are either expired or we cannot use those forms as they are (name of foster care agency) forms.  Let me know if you have any questions! 

So we pretty much have to do every single thing over again because the adoption agency does not accept forms from the foster care agency. To explain further: our foster care agency chose the adoption agency for us and, in fact, requires us to use them because they are sister organizations under the same umbrella. But they don't accept each other's forms.

Can someone explain how it's possible for our birth certificates and social security cards to expire? Pretty damn sure they've been the same since we were born.

Stupid little people with stupid little forms. Seriously.

So I forwarded the email to our agency supervisors and pointed out that I'd been assured by them the process to become foster care parents would roll over if/when we decided to become adoptive parents. Because I'm not trusting the word of a 22-yr-old bureaucrat who can't even understand her own forms.

Update: at the end of my email to the supervisors I mentioned that we'd been chosen by the Dept of Health and Human Services to participate in an audit of our foster care agency and that that visit was scheduled for two weeks from now and that I'd be discussing the outcome of this issue with the auditor. Well, that got a reply. Suddenly the top supervisor is giving me her personal assurance this will be investigated promptly and instructing her underlings to CC her on all emails and giving them a 24 hr deadline for responding. Fascinating.

I was kinda pissed when we were contacted that we had to participate in the audit (really, one more social worker walking thru my house testing my fire alarms and no doubt giving me more forms to fill out?). But now I'm a little bit pleased.  
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Separation for Me

 One more note about yesterday. I noticed that when the girls were acting up yesterday I truly was not angry. I felt back in my old EI teacher groove where I could calmly observe and reflect to a student but never feel personally involved in the drama. It felt so nice! The equilibriam I was famous for when teaching but that I've struggled to find in my own home.  Being away was so good for me. Thinking other thoughts; being competent around other smart people. Life affirming to me as a human, not just the mother-drone trapped in a small house doing small things repeatedly all day long.  I absolutely have to have professional level conversation and interactions to maintain my sanity. Essential.
Post a Comment
Read more

Practice

 This morning I was preparing Jane for her day. Upbeat and warm, but factual. Running through my expectations for her (be kind to others, tell the truth, don't sneak) and the consequences (removal from play with others). It's a familiar routine and she participated in it easily. But at the end her face hardened and she was angry. I asked her to name her feelings. First she attempted to deflect, said she felt sad. I asked again. This time she looked me dead in the eye and said, "talking about the bad things makes me want to do them".  Well, at least she's honest. (which, truly, is huge) I asked her tell me more. She said that me telling her she can't lie makes her want to lie just to see if she can get away with it. (The honest truth is that when she said that it made me angry, just want to lock her in her room forever. I have to fight my impulse and not show any reaction that would feed into, and distract from, the goal. But it's hard for me to walk away f
Post a Comment
Read more

Birthday Grinch

And just like that next year I wanna be that smug, killjoy, lefty parent who sends out birthday invites that fake-polite demands attendees do not bring gifts but instead make a donation to a charity of the child's choice. When everyone knows said child doesn't care about the charity and would've loved some loot. Why? Two garbage bags of plastic film, cardboard, twisty-tie wrappings I had to cut and wrestle from around every gift.  TWO! bags of packaging and plastic crap toys that Jane never saw but went straight into the trash. For example, the exact same kind of doll shoes that Jane stuck up her nose months ago. We're not risking a repeat of that, thank you. (Kept the doll, just ditched the shoes.) Also, plastic necklaces with real metal clasps that her tiny hands can't do and I'm not gonna do up and undo every two seconds, thank you. (Not to mention the choking hazard to the 2 yr old when her big sister decides to dress her up with them and inevitably s
Post a Comment
Read more