Jane has a few habitual behaviors that I find difficult to correct.
When she first came to us she had frequent potty accidents. Now, almost 3 months later she still, EVERY DAMN TIME she uses the bathroom, announces in a most-important-and-super-surprised-this-is-amazing voice, "I didn't pee my pants!" (I simply do not know how someone can summon that much enthusiasm 10 times a day.) She says it most aggressively whenever I'm busy helping Kate or James go potty.
If Kate drops her spoon at the table, Jane immediately pipes up, "I don't drop MY spoon!"
If I've been angry with the girls she will start saying in a pathetic, questioning voice, "I love you, mama?"
If I'm just casually busy with basic housework she'll say, "Hi, mama," every time she's near me. She could say it 10 times in 10 minutes if I didn't respond.
How do I correct this incessant need to be noticed and the accompanying emotional manipulation?
No, I'm not excited that you quit having accidents but, dear heavens, if I stop being enthused will you start peeing yourself on purpose to punish me?
Yes, I am glad you don't drop your spoon at every meal like Kate does. I'm also glad you aren't throwing knives at me. Do we need to explore every single thing I'm glad you're not doing at the table...because that's probably a long list if we get going. Should I be grateful you're only pointing out one non-mis-behavior you're choosing to engage in?
Nope, I don't love you. Sorry, I don't. I will. I really do know that I will. But at this point I'm faking it every time I say back, "I love you, too!". Faking. And faking harder every time you wheedle and whine about loving me right when I'm at my most angry with you.
Not only do I not need to say hi to someone who's been sharing the same space with me since I woke up this morning, I'm beyond annoyed that now James and Kate are doing it, too. I CANNOT COPE with an endless chorus of "hi mama" chirps bleating at me like maniacal parrots all the damn day long.
When she first came to us she had frequent potty accidents. Now, almost 3 months later she still, EVERY DAMN TIME she uses the bathroom, announces in a most-important-and-super-surprised-this-is-amazing voice, "I didn't pee my pants!" (I simply do not know how someone can summon that much enthusiasm 10 times a day.) She says it most aggressively whenever I'm busy helping Kate or James go potty.
If Kate drops her spoon at the table, Jane immediately pipes up, "I don't drop MY spoon!"
If I've been angry with the girls she will start saying in a pathetic, questioning voice, "I love you, mama?"
If I'm just casually busy with basic housework she'll say, "Hi, mama," every time she's near me. She could say it 10 times in 10 minutes if I didn't respond.
How do I correct this incessant need to be noticed and the accompanying emotional manipulation?
No, I'm not excited that you quit having accidents but, dear heavens, if I stop being enthused will you start peeing yourself on purpose to punish me?
Yes, I am glad you don't drop your spoon at every meal like Kate does. I'm also glad you aren't throwing knives at me. Do we need to explore every single thing I'm glad you're not doing at the table...because that's probably a long list if we get going. Should I be grateful you're only pointing out one non-mis-behavior you're choosing to engage in?
Nope, I don't love you. Sorry, I don't. I will. I really do know that I will. But at this point I'm faking it every time I say back, "I love you, too!". Faking. And faking harder every time you wheedle and whine about loving me right when I'm at my most angry with you.
Not only do I not need to say hi to someone who's been sharing the same space with me since I woke up this morning, I'm beyond annoyed that now James and Kate are doing it, too. I CANNOT COPE with an endless chorus of "hi mama" chirps bleating at me like maniacal parrots all the damn day long.
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