Foster Further

 This morning I was preparing Jane for her day. Upbeat and warm, but factual. Running through my expectations for her (be kind to others, tell the truth, don't sneak) and the consequences (removal from play with others). It's a familiar routine and she participated in it easily. But at the end her face hardened and she was angry. I asked her to name her feelings. First she attempted to deflect, said she felt sad. I asked again. This time she looked me dead in the eye and said, "talking about the bad things makes me want to do them".  Well, at least she's honest. (which, truly, is huge) I asked her tell me more. She said that me telling her she can't lie makes her want to lie just to see if she can get away with it. (The honest truth is that when she said that it made me angry, just want to lock her in her room forever. I have to fight my impulse and not show any reaction that would feed into, and distract from, the goal. But it's hard for me to walk away f...

 This week Jane went through the whole cycle so clearly I was predicting each stage before it happened. this means a) we've gone through this too many times, but also, b) she went through it pretty rapidly. Maybe we could call it progress that she took 12 hrs instead of 5 days for each stage?  She'd been having a couple good weeks. Maybe 3-4 weeks of generally positive emotions and interactions. Talking normally (no baby talk or imitation). Playing normally (small spats all siblings have but nothing diabolical). One episode of peeing herself but it seemed related to a bladder infection flare up, not behavior. No major sneaking/lying events.  And, the biggest change was that she seemed genuinely happy. She is funny! (who knew?) Her sense of humor was coming out since all the kids are in the stage where they love to tell jokes but can't really do them. She was relaxed and enjoyable for weeks. No tension; all natural behaviors. Nothing simmering under the surface; truly comp...