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Adoption Ornament?

 Every year I get a Christmas tree ornament for each child to reflect some milestone in their life. Since the adoption was finalized last February, I suppose this is the year to celebrate that. 

I don't want to. 

I think my initial reluctance is because the adoption is something that happened TO them, it's not a milestone they earned. I get ornaments to celebrate learning to read, or joining marching band, for example. Although, of course there are ornaments for things that happened to a kid, such as starting Kindergarten, or getting a pet. 

But, still, I'm aware of the grief behind adoption for Jane. I think Kate would only see it as joyful, though. But, in the future, should there always be this tangible sign of them being different every year when we decorate the tree? 

I did go back and buy ornaments for all their Christmases before they came to us because I wanted to celebrate every year of their life, as the ornaments are intended to do, and because I didn't want them to have fewer ornaments than everyone else. 

But if I don't do an adoption ornament, then am I signaling that it is NOT something I want to celebrate? We did have a huge party planned (very much for the purpose of showing them pictures later about how much we celebrated them) but of course it got cancelled due to Covid. So now we have nothing to show we celebrated it. Maybe we should do a special day in February on the actual anniversary? There isn't much else going on in Feb--we could add that in. 

My instinct is that it would feel odd and out of place with the other ornaments. I just feel like I always second guess my instincts when it comes to these girls. 

Update: I found the right ornament! I realized a big part of my reluctance was the cringe-worthy, cheesy awful Adoption Celebration phrases that I'd find printed on things. So bad. And I was stuck thinking that I had to buy one of these pre-printed things and hating the idea. Then, last night, I realized I could design my own! I found a customizable ornament that had five kids' heads peeking out from a gingerbread house. I had each kids' name put on one of the heads. Then, along the bottom I had printed: Celebrating The Sweetest Adoption. It felt like something fun and lighthearted that acknowledged the adoption without going over the top with the schmaltz. I also really liked the gingerbread house because it denotes a home and a family. All the good parts of adoption. So, phew! Milestone marked.  



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