Jane is sick today. The family had dodged the flu bullet so far this year and I thought we might get all the way through but maybe that was too optimistic. Even with me being the hand-washing Nazi it looks like some germs snuck through my defenses.
She started getting sick yesterday but the girls had their visit scheduled with grandma and we don't like to cancel. We're down to once a month visits and she hadn't seen them since before Christmas. Also, aunt and her family were up visiting from KY and it's important to maintain that connection. So, the girls went to the bowling alley we'd chosen for this visit anyway.
Jane was a complete mess on the way home. Sobbing inconsolably over a lost penny; fighting with her sister, etc. Put her right to bed at 5:30 with books and lots of water to drink and made her stay there. This morning there's no fever but still the runny nose and congestion.
And THE ANGER! Wow, I've noticed before that when she's ill she becomes angry, defiant, bratty. I wonder if the fatigue of the illness wears down her defenses so she can't hide how she really feels anymore. Or, maybe the aches and pains of the illness remind her of times she was hurt and she feels angry about feeling hurt.
She was up and around until 11am this morning but it was a disaster--nonstop bickering with James and Kate and really naughty behavior (tried to get into matches, sneak food, etc.) every time she was out of my sight. So, at 11:00 I fed her lunch early, gave her a water bottle and some quiet toys, and told her she had to be in her bed until she took a nap. It's 4:15 and she still hasn't napped. I'm working in my room, near her room, and about every 30 minutes she comes out to use the bathroom. Every single time we have the same conversation reviewing that as soon as she naps she can come out and play. She understands perfectly; but she just won't do it.
Total defiance. And I know she was awake a good two hours past her bedtime yesterday so I know she's truly tired now and could sleep if she wanted to.
But, she's angry about being told to sleep and so she won't allow herself to sleep. Well, girly, we can do this all day. Confining you to your bedroom is about the easiest consequence ever.
I try to use it rarely because I know she really hates it but in this case--the need to sleep when sick--there's a pretty good reason. Once again, I feel the need to reteach her healthy self-care skills that, even though she was only in her first home for 3 yrs, 2 months, were so wrongly learned. My kids kinda love being sick. They usually get to stay in my bed and watch cartoons and get brought special meals (aka whatever they want) all day.
But she won't simply lie in my bed and rest. If I'm in the room she must interact with me. If I leave the room then she'll sneak around in my bedroom and get into something she shouldn't be in. So, she has lost the privilege of being in my bed while she's sick and instead must rest in her room. I feel sad she misses on things my sons get---but there's good reason for different standards for her.
Life, and meting out consequences, is one loss of privilege after another. If she ever would've been trustworthy when in my bedroom before...she could have the sick kid privilege today. It's such a slow process when you are not just building from nothing but are actually undoing negative habits.
She started getting sick yesterday but the girls had their visit scheduled with grandma and we don't like to cancel. We're down to once a month visits and she hadn't seen them since before Christmas. Also, aunt and her family were up visiting from KY and it's important to maintain that connection. So, the girls went to the bowling alley we'd chosen for this visit anyway.
Jane was a complete mess on the way home. Sobbing inconsolably over a lost penny; fighting with her sister, etc. Put her right to bed at 5:30 with books and lots of water to drink and made her stay there. This morning there's no fever but still the runny nose and congestion.
And THE ANGER! Wow, I've noticed before that when she's ill she becomes angry, defiant, bratty. I wonder if the fatigue of the illness wears down her defenses so she can't hide how she really feels anymore. Or, maybe the aches and pains of the illness remind her of times she was hurt and she feels angry about feeling hurt.
She was up and around until 11am this morning but it was a disaster--nonstop bickering with James and Kate and really naughty behavior (tried to get into matches, sneak food, etc.) every time she was out of my sight. So, at 11:00 I fed her lunch early, gave her a water bottle and some quiet toys, and told her she had to be in her bed until she took a nap. It's 4:15 and she still hasn't napped. I'm working in my room, near her room, and about every 30 minutes she comes out to use the bathroom. Every single time we have the same conversation reviewing that as soon as she naps she can come out and play. She understands perfectly; but she just won't do it.
Total defiance. And I know she was awake a good two hours past her bedtime yesterday so I know she's truly tired now and could sleep if she wanted to.
But, she's angry about being told to sleep and so she won't allow herself to sleep. Well, girly, we can do this all day. Confining you to your bedroom is about the easiest consequence ever.
I try to use it rarely because I know she really hates it but in this case--the need to sleep when sick--there's a pretty good reason. Once again, I feel the need to reteach her healthy self-care skills that, even though she was only in her first home for 3 yrs, 2 months, were so wrongly learned. My kids kinda love being sick. They usually get to stay in my bed and watch cartoons and get brought special meals (aka whatever they want) all day.
But she won't simply lie in my bed and rest. If I'm in the room she must interact with me. If I leave the room then she'll sneak around in my bedroom and get into something she shouldn't be in. So, she has lost the privilege of being in my bed while she's sick and instead must rest in her room. I feel sad she misses on things my sons get---but there's good reason for different standards for her.
Life, and meting out consequences, is one loss of privilege after another. If she ever would've been trustworthy when in my bedroom before...she could have the sick kid privilege today. It's such a slow process when you are not just building from nothing but are actually undoing negative habits.
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